More than just clever arguments:
Emotional intelligence in negotiations

When objectivity is no longer enough

The true importance of emotional intelligence (EI) becomes apparent in escalated negotiation situations or under intense pressure. In such moments, it is not only expertise or strong argumentation that are required, but also the ability to manage one’s own emotions.

Those who are able to recognize emerging feelings such as anger, frustration, or fear in time, understand them, and regulate them constructively remain capable of acting even in critical situations.

EI helps you calm yourself down, react in a targeted manner instead of impulsively, and thus maintain control over the negotiation process. At the same time, it enables you to meet your counterpart emotionally where they are, whether it’s to de-escalate, restore trust, or simply keep everyone involved “at the table.”

Without this ability, negotiations are likely to fail, not because of the content, but because of the way people interact with each other.

What does “Emotional Intelligence” mean?

Emotional intelligence is a much-discussed concept, and at the same time a term that is often used in a vague or unscientific way. In a scientifically sound sense, EI describes the three abilities to recognize, understand, and regulate one’s own and others’ emotions.

Those who act emotionally intelligently are aware of…

– what they are feeling,

– why this emotion arises, and

– how it can be dealt with.

Key components include a differentiated emotional vocabulary, an understanding of emotional dynamics (e.g., contagion effects, emotional climates), and the ability to define not only content-related goals (“What do we want to achieve?”) but also emotional ones (“How do we want to feel in the end?”).

EI means neither suppressing emotions nor being at their mercy, but rather using them in a targeted manner.

Emotional Intelligence in the Harvard-Concept

Emotions are key indicators of interests.
Anything that has no emotional relevance for us quickly slips into autopilot mode, meaning it disappears from our conscious focus. Emotions, on the other hand, direct our attention to what is really at stake for us. This applies both to ourselves and to our counterparts.

Those who can read emotional signals have a better understanding of the underlying interests and needs that are being negotiated, often beyond the obvious.

EI thus supports the core of the Harvard Concept: recognizing interests, clarifying perceptions, developing creative options, emotionally calming oneself with strategic alternatives, and strengthening relationships. Without EI, many interests remain invisible or are obscured by misunderstandings and reactivity.